Modernization

First time when I went in Ashura Juloos with my father, I was 4 years old. Unknowingly I was just observing the entire event. My father asked me to kiss the Alam and I inquired that what is this, he explained me the concept of Alam, and then he described the concept behind taboot, zuljanah, jhoola and other ziaraat. I saw different groups of people doing matam with two hands, I asked my father and he replied with a deep sorrow that once there was a time when some evil people martyred the whole family of Imam Hussain (a.s.) and imprisoned their women and children therefore from that time the lovers of Imam Hussain (a.s.) perform matam and azadari in remembrance of that event.

Next year again I went in juloss, this time I asked my father that I also want to do matam with TWO hands, with my shirt off, I started YA HUSSAIN, after few mins. I showed my chest to my father and asked him that is it getting “red”? With a smile on his face, he replied that it’s getting dark red and I continued matam with more enthusiasm. When we were on way back to home, I just wanted to reach home as soon as possible because I was afraid, if I get late in reaching home, the red marks on my chest will disappear, as I reached home, I took off my shirt and showed my chest to my mother and without any verbal communication, she just hugged me.

As Maula Ali also said that (mafhoom) “Children’s first ibadaat is for RIYAKARI” how true is this!

Time passed by and every year I use to do matam in juloos and majlis in the same way, shirts off and with two hands and purpose was to show my mother and siblings.

By the time I was 14, now I started realizing the tragedy of karbala and riyakari was converted in KHULOOS, this time my matam was for Imam Hussain (a.s.) and his household, when I went back home, I did not showed my red marks to my mother. This continued for several years, I use to participate in juloos from start till end, performed matamdari and the only objective was to pay tribute to Ahylebait.

Soon I was in my practical life, at age of 22. Group of friends use to go in different programs, majalis and juloos. Things were changes by this time and we use to walk behind in juloos, style of matamdari got changed and now we use to do ladies style matam, chatting on different issues and performing matam in a polite way. Soon I realized that the khuloos, I was feeling inside my heart is no more and participation in programs is due to time pass and friends gathering.

I got married and involvement in juloos restricted for few hours only, just to record my attendance and for sake of false satisfaction that I atleast participated. As soon as got on higher positions in my practical life and people started knowing me as a reputed and successful business man, I am not participating in juloos any more, now I go to mehfile-e-murtaza for full day amaal, in a peaceful environment, covered roof, sitting on one place, proper food and water arrangements, I am doing azadari.

I don’t know what I will be doing in next five years, maybe doing online azadari and again participating in juloos with a slight difference, this time it will be a virtual participation, lying on bed and watching live coverage on my television screen.